The Pentagon is reportedly funding research into neural implants with the ultimate hope of turning sharks into “stealth spies” capable of gliding undetected through the ocean.
According to the British weekly New Scientist, the research builds on experimental work to control animals by implanting tiny electrodes in their brain, which are then stimulated to induce a behavioral response.
The next logical step is to equip these sharks with frickin’ laser beams.
You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
— Dr. Evil