(stolen from Dark Bilious Vapors) Leak stain on ceiling. Cut a piece of plywood into a square. Nail it over the stain. Put a handle on it. Tell everyone it’s the door to your attic. (Not recommended for basement apartments). Ant invasion. In a four-litre pail mix together two litres of water, 500 grams of … Continue reading “Simple Solutions to Common Household Problems”
Category: Humor
Major Disasters of Bush Administration
(from the Daily Show) Looks like Bush disasters are happening in alphabetical order and we’re only up to K!
How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?
(via email) The Answer is TEN: One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed; One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed; One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb; One to tell the nations of the world that they are either … Continue reading “How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?”
Five reasons NOT to use Linux
(via Linux-Watch) Reason number one: Linux is too complicatedEven with the KDE and GNOME graphical windowing interfaces, it’s possible — not likely, but possible — that you’ll need to use a command line now and again, or edit a configuration file. Compare that with Windows where, it’s possible — not likely, but possible — that … Continue reading “Five reasons NOT to use Linux”
You don’t have to teach both sides of a debate, if one side is a load of crap
New Rule: You don’t have to teach both sides of a debate, if one side is a load of crap. Now, President Bush recently suggested that public schools should teach intelligent design, alongside the theory of evolution. Because, after all, evolution is quote, “just a theory.” Then the President renewed his vow to drive the … Continue reading “You don’t have to teach both sides of a debate, if one side is a load of crap”
God is a waffler
NEW RULE: God is a waffler. Pat Robertson said God told him that Iraq would be a bloody disaster. But the same God told George Bush it wouldn’t, which so surprised Robertson, he almost dropped the pennies he was stealing off a dead woman’s eyes. But why is God talking out of two sides of … Continue reading “God is a waffler”
Yet Another Light Bulb Joke
(printed by fortune in one of my terminal windows today) Q: How many crew members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send Bones to … Continue reading “Yet Another Light Bulb Joke”
This one has been around for a long time
I’m sure there are versions of this joke that predate this one… A businessman flew into Seattle for a meeting. Being somewhat of a bigshot, he was to be ferried from the airport to the meeting by helicopter. However, a thick fog had settled over the city, and the helicopter was soon lost. The pilot … Continue reading “This one has been around for a long time”
A really geeky joke
(printed by fortune in one of my terminal windows today) The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out. Says he, “Go and multiply.” Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. “What’s the problem?” says Noah. “Cut down some … Continue reading “A really geeky joke”
Bah dum ching!
(printed by fortune in one of my terminal windows today) Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common? A: The same middle name.