Simple Home Remedies

(via Captain Carl’s Daily Blarrrg)

  1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

  2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

  3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

  4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze.

  5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

  6. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

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