Category: Trolls / Spammers / Kooks / Clueless People

Yet another U.K. lottery scam email gets by the spam filters…

From: © 2007 UK LOTTERY BOARD <ccworrn@charter.net>

charter.net? For a lottery in the U.K.? I don’t think so.

Reply-To: Agent03@national-lotterycentral.com

national-lotterycentral.com? Not .uk? WTF?

Date: Sat, 30 Jun 2007 8:26:10 -0700
Subject: ATTN: YOUR EMAIL JUST WON!!!

Ref: XYL /2651040103/07

We happily announce to you the draw (#1194) of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY, online Sweepstakes International program held on Saturday 02 June 2007.

I happily announce to you that you’re full of shit.

Your e-mail address drew the lucky numbers: 01 10 33 35 38 43 34 (Bonus ball)

Please explain to us how an e-mail address draws a lucky number.

which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e. match 5. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of Four Hundred And Two Thousand, Eight Hundred And Sixty-Three Pounds Sterling in cash credited to file XYL /2651040103/07.

Whoopty-freakin’-do!

Although tickets were not sold, all participants for the online version were selected randomly from World Wide Web sites through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 unions, associations and co-operate bodies that are listed online.

Brilliant business plan you have there: Who would have thought you could make money by giving huge cash prizes to randomly selected individuals?

To file for your claim, please contact your fiduciary agent immediately via the email below.

Agents Name: James Keegan
Agent03@national-lotterycentral.com
Cordially,

SIR GEORGE HARRIS Online Coordinator

SIR? ‘Oh, I say, we are grand, aren’t we? Oh, oh, no more buttered scones for me, mater. I’m off to play the grand piano. Pardon me while I coordinate online for the U.K. National Lottery.’

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Yet another fake business proposal scam gets by the spam filter…

From: ola bello <ola_bello1414@yahoo.co.id>
Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2007 19:22:06 +0700 (ICT)
Subject: SINCERE COMPENSATION

Dear good friend,

My friends don’t send me spam.

I’m happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from Luxemburg. Presently I’m in Luxemburg for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. Meanwhile, I didn’t forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

You didn’t forget something that never happened, amazing.

Now contact my secretary, her name is MISS MARY . PETER (Secretary) (mary_peter100@yahoo.ca ) ask her to send you the international cashier’s Bank Draft I raised in your name worth $520,000.00USD as a compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much, so feel free and get in touched with my secretary MISS MARY and instruct Her where to send the Draft to. Please, contact NOW, my confidential secretary,

NOW? <sarcasm>I better not delay and contact her NOW.</sarcasm>

MISS MARY . PETER (Secretary)
E-mail : (mary_peter100@yahoo.ca )
You are to forward to her, the following:
1. YOUR FULL NAME & ADDRESS
2. YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER (If necessary)
She, will advise you further about the shipment of the ICBD to your Residence Address or Office Address you may provide. Feel free to reach via this very mail address. Most importantly, the ICBD has only validity period of 12 banking days.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time.

What is it with scammers and the word, sufferness?

In the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the secretary on your behalf, so feel free to get in touch with her and she will send the Draft to you without any delay.
With best regards,
Dr, OLA BELLO

“Dr.” Bello, you say you’re in Luxembourg, but you sent this email from Indonesia. WTF?

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Yet another phony lottery scam gets by the old spam filters…

From: Euromillions FreeDraws- <benlogan@bellsouth.net>

bellsouth.net? For a European lottery? WTF?

Reply-To: laagstebanknlplc@yahoo.es

.es, that’s at least European…

Date: Tue, 26 Jun 2007 18:41:31 -0400
Subject: Millions Lottery.

Millions Lottery.

We are pleased to inform you of the result of Million Lottery, which was Held on the 1st , June 2007.Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:14-18-34-45-67 (76-32)With Prize Number (match 5):222000009 drew a prize of 2,000, 000.00 (two Million Euros). This lucky draw came first in the 2nd Category of the Sweepstake.You will receive the sum of 2,000,000.00 (two Million Euros) from our Authorized bank. Because of some mix-up with sweepstake prizes, including the time limited placed on the payment of your prize:¤2,000, 000.00 euros, we advice that you keep all information about this prize confidential until your funds: 2,000,000.00 Euros will be transferred to you by our bank.You must adhere to this instruction, strictly, to avoid any delay with the release of your funds to your person. This program has been abused severally in past, so we are doing our best to forestall further occurrence of false claims.

¤2,000, 000.00 euros — Looks like someone doesn’t know how to make a Euro sign (€ not ¤) .

This sweepstake was conducted under the watchful eyes of 8,000 spectators.

8,000? <sarcasm>Wow, this must be legit.</sarcasm>

Your e-mail address attached to e-ticket number 14-18-34-45-67 (76-32) was selected and;

Why do these scammers find it so difficult to generate unique number sequences.

it came out first by an e-ballot draw from over 250,000 e-mail addresses (personal and corporate e-mail addresses).

What the hell kind of business model is that?

Thisprogram is sponsored by CFI to compensate faithful internet suffers around the globe.

Thisprogram? CFI? suffers? Though I suspect some recipients of this scam will suffer.

Congratulations for becoming one of the few lucky winners.With your permission, your e-mail will also be included in the next Sweepstake of 20Million Euros.You must claim our prize: 2,000,000.00 Euros not later than 7-days from the moment you receive this e-mail.

Congratulations for being such an inept scammer…

In order to avoid unnecessary Delays with your claim from the bank; please contact them immediately,and quote your winning and personal information now,and in all your Correspondence with the Bank. Here is the contact Information

Attention: Martin Verdonk
Email:agentmartin07@aim.com
Phone:0031-642-839-984
Fax:0031-84-757-9617
Fax:0031-84-759-6151

Furnish them with the following:
(i). Your name(s),
(ii) Your telephone and fax numbers
(iii) Your contact address.
(iv) Your winning information (including amount won).
(v)occupation and position in office
Congratulations in Advance!!!

Yours Faithfully,

Von Adrian (Ms.) CPA.
Coordinator: Millions Lottery .

At least this email actually came from a machine in Europe…

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Here we have an example of the rich guy is dying and needs someone to give his money away scam…

From: “Al Walid Khalid” <alwalidkhalid132@myway.com>
Reply-To: alwalidkhalid132@latinmail.com

Why would a Saudi Arabian national use a latinmail.com email address?

Date: Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:53:06 -0500 (COT)
Subject: From Saudi Arabia

Hello Friend,

Hello complete stranger,

Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics although, I wish to use this medium to get in touch with you first because it’s fastest means. I believe it will be a surprise to you as we have never met before, and I am deeply sorry if I have in any manner disturbed your privacy.

Do accept my sincere apologies if I wish your death to be the most painful possible.

Please forgive this unusual manner of contacting you. My name is Al Walid khalid, A Saudi Arabia national. I have been diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer . It has defied all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for.

Seems to me someone forgot one of the Pillars of Islam…

But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

And recruiting a complete stranger is your solution. Right.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Six Million dollars ($6,000,000.00) that I have with financial institution abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations.

N/B: KINDLY NOTE THAT 80% of these funds must go to victims of recent disasters and another 20% for your effort and time.

<sarcasm>
My, aren’t we generous…
</sarcasm>

Upon receipt of your response, I shall communicate with you, and let you know the details of the transfer. Whatever your actions and your decision, I thank you for taking the time to read this email Regards,

Al Walid khalid

It’s funny how often the name Al Walid khalid comes up in scam emails. It’s like the scammers are so dim that when they cut and paste these scams, they don’t even bother changing the names.

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Oh No! A log lost relative as apparently croaked…

From: edwardmoore@sunumail.sn
Reply-To: edwardmoore004@yahoo.co.uk

.sn (Senegal) or .uk (United Kingdom)? Make up your mind!

Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:33:21 -0000 (GMT)
Subject: From: Edward Moore & Associates

Dear Friend,

My friends don’t send me spam.

My name is Edward Moore QC.Principal partner Edward Moore & Associates London UK and I was compelled by my late client’s request to contact you on a matter of great financial reward.My client late Hassan zahrul (Malaysian by Birth) ,an Industrialist and Real Estate Guru died recently leaving a vast wealth in your name as his “Next of Kin”.

One would think someone in London would understand that it is customary to put some white space after periods and commas. And the chances of me having a Malaysian relative are essentially nil. Notice how Mr. “Moore” never mentions my name.

Do contact me immediately via my Direct Telephone:+44-7045705184 or better still send me an email to my direct email address as below stated for immediate action on this matter.

Do drop dead immediately via the most painful method available to you.

Email:edwardmoore002@yahoo.co.uk

I expect your immediate response and call and also let me have your direct telephone and mobile lines so i can call you as well.This matter demands urgent action and i urge you to make this possible.

You may expect my immediate response, but I wouldn’t hold your breath if I were you.

Awaiting your response.

Edward Moore Q.C
Principal Partner
Edward Moore & Associates
Direct Telephone:+44-7045705184

Isn’t it funny how an email claiming to be from a businessman in London actually originated somewhere in Africa?

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Another scam claiming a prior business relationship…

From: “Mr.Yves Adams” <yvesadams1@yahoo.com>
Reply-To: yvesadams@yahoo.fr
Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2007 05:58:31 -0700
Subject: From Mr Yves Adams Finally Succeeded

Dearest.Friend,

Not so fast, buddy.

I wish to inform you that i finally succeeded in transfering the Funds which intiated you before through the Over Invoice contract awarded by Federal Government with my new partner from Bahamas Eng.Carlos Gomez.

Huh?

Right now am in Kwuait investing my own share of the total Funds.

Kwuait? WTF?

Neverthless,i didn’t forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it could not work out.

Yeah, right.

I want you to contact my secretary,

And I want you to drop dead.

his name is Desmond Aku and his email address is( des_aku@yahoo.fr ) ask him to send you the total US$920,000.00 in a Certified Bank Draft which i kept for your earlier assistance . I really appreciated your efforts at that time very much.

Kindly get in touched with my secretary Desmond Aku and instruct him where send the Bank Draft to you.

I’m sure he will.

Do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time. in the moment, i am very busy here because = of the investment projects which I and my new partner are having at hand. Finally i want to inform you that you will required to take charge of your mailing of Draft expenses.

I thought so… And sufferness, WTF?

I wish you best of luck,as you contact Mr Desmond Aku.

Best Regards
Mr.Yves Adams

Mr. Adams says he’s in Kuwait (or is it Kwuait?), but this email is from a computer in the U.S.A.

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A phony job offer scam gets by the old spam filters…

From: Asian Trading Company <info@unitedasiantradingcompany.jp>
Reply-To: nfodeskasiantrading_company@yahoo.com.hk

Japan? Honk Kong? Make up your mind!

Date: Fri, 8 Jun 2007 03:46:46 +0100
Subject: 10% Interest Offer , On Every Deal By United Asian Trading Company

United Asian Trading Company.
Head Office
23, Shangnan Twon
Mnhou Country Japan
Tel:+(0870 068 7067

Odd, the only references to “Shangnan Twon” and “Mnhou Country” found on Google are to other scam emails.

Attn Ceo,

Ceo?

We have a job offer available for you, We got your email address from an Online Job search directory.

Which directory? Note: This email was sent to an address not used by me on Monster, etc.

We are a very small International trading company with our corporate headquarters based in Japan.We deal on raw materials and finished personal care Products including live long products. Due to our competent records we have been recieving orders from EUROPE,UNITED KINGDOM ,AUSTRALIA and NORTHERN AMERICA which we have not been able to process competently since we do not have a payment recieving personel in these Areas, as it is difficult to have payments sent from foreign, countries processed within a short time in ASIA.

recieving? personel? You don’t have access to a spell checker?

We have decided to recruit payment officers online hence we will be needing a representative to process our payments in these areas – due to delays in processing payments from these areas in ASIA. We offer flexible program: two hours/day at your choice, daytime and evening time. Work at home: checking e-mail and going to the bank Part time or full time Professional contact team with very good support and communication skills Other highlights: no selling involved, no kit to buy,we won’t charge you anything Monthly salary: $250 every two weeks to a total of $500 per month Commission:10% of every money order/check that is cashed instantly “cash in hand” or “cash on counter” is what you get from the total cashed amount.

Blah Blah Blah…

EXAMPLE If you receive a check of $1,000.00 your 10% Commission is $100.00,our company supports any fees.

<sarcasm>
I would have never been able to figure that out myself. Thanks.
</sarcasm>

You will process at least 2-3 orders per day and you will earn more than $200.00 cash in hand each day.

Whoopty-freakin’-do!

REMEMBER: THE MORE ORDERS YOU PROCESS- AT A FASTER RATE THE HIGHER YOU STAND TO EARN DAILY.What we ask:Two free hours daily not including weekends, Internet access for sending and receiving e-mails,available means of cashing money orders/cheques at your bank.

<sarcasm>
You ask for so little. Nice.
</sarcasm>

IMPORTANT NOTE:You must be over 21 years of age.U.S,UK,CANADIAN OR AUSTRALIAN CITIZENSHIP.If you meet these conditions please contact us by replying at this e-mail address:

Email : infodeskasiantrading_company@yahoo.com.hk

A yahoo email address? <sarcasm>This must be legit.</sarcasm>

If you are intrested,Please send the following information below to us,

FULL NAME, CONTACT HOME ADDRESS, HOME PHONE/ FAX, CELL PHONE, ZIP CODE, OCCUPATION, AGE,

For quick delivery of payments.You will never be ask for anything more then that, no bank names, no bank account number, routing number, credit card,passwords,ssn # etc.If anyone asks for those on our behalf please do not give out this info.This is to ensure your security and non involvement in cases of Identity. Thanks.

(Sir) Michael Lee

Sir? ‘Oh, I say, we are grand, aren’t we? Oh, oh, no more buttered scones for me, mater. I’m off to play the grand piano. Pardon me while I direct payments at my Asian trading company.’

(Director of Payments)

Perhaps (Sir) Michael Lee can tell us why a Japanese (or is it Hong Kong?) company would send an email from a computer in the U.K.?

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It’s been awhile since a good old fashioned Nigerian scam got past my spam filters…

From: DR.SAIDOU AGBANTOU <agba_55@zipmail.com.br>
Reply-To: agbafoundations@myway.com
Date: Tue, 29 May 2007 15:50:59 +0400
Subject: MY APPRECIATION

My Good Friend,

Do I know you?

I’m happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from paraguay.

Isn’t that nice.

Presently i’m in London for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. Meanwhile, I didn’t forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

You didn’t forget something that never happened? Amazing…

Now contact my secretary in Nigeria, his names are Mr. Mark Egondu to send you the total of US$950,000 (Nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars) which I have kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.

<sarcasm>
Easy money from Nigeria? Where do I sign up?
</sarcasm>

I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with my secretary Mark Egondu and instruct him where to send the amount to you.

get in touched with & his names are – time to get a proofreader.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferrings at that time.

WTF?

At the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which I and the new partner are having at hand.

I’m sure sending out email scams takes a lot of time…

Finally, remember that I had forwarded instructions to the secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with him at; agbafoundations@myway.com

Which just happens to be the return address of this email.

He will send the amount to you without any delay.

<sarcasm>
I’m sure he will.
</sarcasm>

Give him address where he will send you the cheque.

Regards,
Dr.Saidou Agbantou.

You say you’re in London, but this email comes from a machine in Russia.

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