An Apology

(via email & Salon) Having been called names, one looks back at one’s own angry outbursts over the years, and I recall having once referred to Republicans as “hairy-backed swamp developers, fundamentalist bullies, freelance racists, hobby cops, sweatshop tycoons, line jumpers, marsupial moms and aluminum-siding salesmen, misanthropic frat boys, ninja dittoheads, shrieking midgets, tax cheats, … Continue reading “An Apology”

6/6/6 – The day of the beast

These have been around for a long time… 666 – number of the beast 668 – neighbor of the beast DCLXVI – roman numeral of the beast 666.000 – number of the high-precision beast 1010011 – binary number of the beast $665.95 – retail price of the beast $656.66 – Wal-Mart price of the beast … Continue reading “6/6/6 – The day of the beast”

Chicago Court Ruling

(via email)

COURT RULING, Chicago Illinois, May 8, 2006

Chicago, Illinois (AP) – A seven year old boy was at the center of a Chicago courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the Judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Chicago Cubs, who the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

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When you’re incompetence literally costs lives, giggling at it isn’t cute or funny

New Rule: George Bush has to stop laughing at himself. When you’re incompetence literally costs lives, giggling at it isn’t cute or funny. You know, there’s a guy who’s been running around the country pretending he’s the president, and I believe his name is George Bush. And he wants everyone to know that he doesn’t … Continue reading “When you’re incompetence literally costs lives, giggling at it isn’t cute or funny”

Do you people have to ruin everything?

New Rule: Keep Jesus out of strip clubs. A former dancer from Las Vegas has founded “JC’s Girls,” a ministry that brings the healing power of the Lord directly to America’s strip clubs and adult businesses. Do you people have to ruin everything? You’ve got the White House, the Congress, the Supreme Court. Can’t you … Continue reading “Do you people have to ruin everything?”

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