Bush Light Bulb Joke

(stolen from William Gibson)

How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There’s nothing wrong with that light bulb. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision and nothing has happened to change our minds. People who criticize this light bulb now, just because it doesn’t work anymore, supported us when we first screwed it in, and when these flip-floppers insist on saying that it is burned out, they are merely giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness.

— John Cleese

Scare Tactics

Instead of articulating a vision or a positive agenda for the future, the senator is relying on a litany of complaints and old style scare tactics.
— George W. Bush, October 19, 2004

I suppose the Bush campaign would never resort to using scare tactics

The biggest threat we face now as a nation is the possibility of terrorists ending up in the middle of one of our cities with deadlier weapons than have ever before been used against us – biological agents or a nuclear weapon or a chemical weapon of some kind to be able to threaten the lives of hundreds of thousands of Americans.
— Dick Cheney, October 19, 2004

Let’s not forget who was in charge during September 11, 2001 attacks and who allowed Iran and North Korea join the nuclear club while obsessing over Iraq.

“Protect Our Civil Liberties” is an anti-Bush phrase

(via Bend.com)

Responding to the number of examples of American voters being turned away, or removed from George W. Bush’s visits to their cities and states, Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe hosted a national conference call with Oregon teachers who were kicked out of an Oct. 14 Medford Bush rally for wearing T-shirts saying, “Protect Our Civil Liberties.”

I bet those teachers would have been allowed to stay if they were wearing brown shirts…

Proud Member of the Reality-Based Community

Without a Doubt (soul stealing registration required):

In the summer of 2002, after I had written an article in Esquire that the White House didn’t like about Bush’s former communications director, Karen Hughes, I had a meeting with a senior adviser to Bush. He expressed the White House’s displeasure, and then he told me something that at the time I didn’t fully comprehend — but which I now believe gets to the very heart of the Bush presidency.

The aide said that guys like me were ”in what we call the reality-based community,” which he defined as people who ”believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality.” I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. ”That’s not the way the world really works anymore,” he continued. ”We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality — judiciously, as you will — we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.”

Who besides guys like me are part of the reality-based community? Many of the other elected officials in Washington, it would seem. A group of Democratic and Republican members of Congress were called in to discuss Iraq sometime before the October 2002 vote authorizing Bush to move forward. A Republican senator recently told Time Magazine that the president walked in and said: ”Look, I want your vote. I’m not going to debate it with you.” When one of the senators began to ask a question, Bush snapped, ”Look, I’m not going to debate it with you.”

I count myself among those who believe that solutions emerge from a judicious study of discernible reality rather than relying on wishful thinking like the Bush administration.

Bush can go Cheney himself

Here’s part of what Bush would say to a person who had lost his job to someone overseas:

And so the person you talked to, I say, here’s some help, here’s some trade adjustment assistance money for you to go a community college in your neighborhood, a community college which is providing the skills necessary to fill the jobs of the 21st century. And that’s what I would say to that person.
— George W. Bush (October 13, 2004)

So, a senior level software engineer with a master’s degree in physics, who loses his job to someone overseas, should go to community college to learn a new skill? WTF is that about?

Are search engines include you website?

Here’s an email that slipped by my spam filter (spelling and formatting preserved).

Date: Wed, 13 Oct 2004 15:35:20 -0400 (EDT)
From: “Dede Donovan”
To: webmaster@xxxx-xxx.com
Subject: Are search engines include you website?


Potencial customers don’t visit your website bcause can’t find it in Major Search Engines?

Get your website be included to search indexes of:

Google, Yahoo, Lycos ,MSN, AOL, Webcrawler ,HotBot etc.

Get your website relisted for several months to qain more search engine traffic.

Submit my website!

Don’t underrate the free search enqine traffic potential!

SincereIy,
Dede Donovan



_____________________________________________________
Indifferent?
_____________________________________________________

This email only scored a 4.7 (a score of 5.0 is required to be classified as spam). It also looks like this spam came from Chile (or was at least routed through a machine in Chile). Does this look like mangled English from a Spanish speaker (it kind of looks like engrish to me)? Or is the mangled syntax some clever scheme to get by Bayesian spam filters?

Not a Waffle Iron

Press 1 for perfect sandwiches:

A panini press, or panini machine, is like a waffle iron, but the plates that get hot are flat or, more likely, ribbed, like a grill pan. You can buy one for as little as $40 or as much as $100.

The press is usually quite heavy for its size, as the top plate presses down on the sandwich, flattening it a bit and causing the sandwich contents to squish together and become one glorious, warm, melded interior.

Because both the top and bottom plates of the press get hot, the sandwich requires no turning and cooks evenly on both sides.

I use my panini machine to make every kind of sandwich, including good old-fashioned grilled cheese, but if you aren’t interested in cluttering up your counter with one more device, you can use a George Foreman-type grill to great effect in making hot sandwiches. Or you can use the method that short-order cooks have used for decades: Set the sandwich in an ordinary skillet to cook, but put a heavy pan or cast-iron skillet on top of it to press it down.

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective owners. Quotes from linked articles are probably the property of the publications linked or the property of the person(s) quoted. The rest © 2001- 2025 by James A. Chappell