And don’t ever fucking send me a Breitbart link to prove your point. That’s like sending someone a sack of rabbit heads to prove you’re not insane. — The Rude Pundit
Category: Quotes
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears
It really doesn’t feel like summer until…
It really doesn’t feel like summer until I’ve made myself feel sick from eating too much bratwurst.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan)
Enjoy Your Easter Eggs
Enjoy your Easter eggs but don’t forget the true meaning behind it all. It’s because Humpty Dumpty died for our sins. Or something like that. — Ricky Gervais (via Facebook)
March 4th
March 4th, the only day that is also a sentence.
— John Green
Olympics
Is it too much to ask to have our Olympians who fail to bring back gold covered in pitch and burned alive for our amusement?
— Michael J. Nelson (via Twitter)
Newspapers
They’re part of America’s past, like buggy-whip makers and the middle class. — Stephen Colbert (on the state of newspapers in America)
Lenny White
There’s a lot of music, and a lot of it isn’t that great, like these boy bands where nobody plays an instrument. Well, we play instruments… so I guess that makes us a man band. — Lenny White (more…)
Bill O’Reilly’s Theology
Like all great theologies, Bill O’Reilly’s can be boiled down to one sentence: there must be a God, because I don’t know how things work.
— Stephen Colbert
Texas Schoolbooks
At some point, Texas schoolbooks are going to be nothing but the Old Testament, a history of the Alamo, and a section on Reagan. — John Cole