Simple Home Remedies

(via Captain Carl’s Daily Blarrrg)

  1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

  2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

  3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

  4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze.

  5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

  6. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

Al Walid Khalid

Here we have an example of the rich guy is dying and needs someone to give his money away scam…

From: “Al Walid Khalid” <alwalidkhalid132@myway.com>
Reply-To: alwalidkhalid132@latinmail.com

Why would a Saudi Arabian national use a latinmail.com email address?

Date: Mon, 18 Jun 2007 06:53:06 -0500 (COT)
Subject: From Saudi Arabia

Hello Friend,

Hello complete stranger,

Do accept my sincere apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics although, I wish to use this medium to get in touch with you first because it’s fastest means. I believe it will be a surprise to you as we have never met before, and I am deeply sorry if I have in any manner disturbed your privacy.

Do accept my sincere apologies if I wish your death to be the most painful possible.

Please forgive this unusual manner of contacting you. My name is Al Walid khalid, A Saudi Arabia national. I have been diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer . It has defied all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for.

Seems to me someone forgot one of the Pillars of Islam…

But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

And recruiting a complete stranger is your solution. Right.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Six Million dollars ($6,000,000.00) that I have with financial institution abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations.

N/B: KINDLY NOTE THAT 80% of these funds must go to victims of recent disasters and another 20% for your effort and time.

<sarcasm>
My, aren’t we generous…
</sarcasm>

Upon receipt of your response, I shall communicate with you, and let you know the details of the transfer. Whatever your actions and your decision, I thank you for taking the time to read this email Regards,

Al Walid khalid

It’s funny how often the name Al Walid khalid comes up in scam emails. It’s like the scammers are so dim that when they cut and paste these scams, they don’t even bother changing the names.

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Friday Random Ten: 2007-06-15


NameArtistAlbumGenre
1. MoneyYesTormatoRock
2. MilestonesBilly CobhamBurning For Buddy: A Tribute To The Music Of Buddy RichJazz
3. Star 69R.E.M.MonsterRock
4. Any Colour You LikePink FloydDark Side Of The MoonRock
5. PrettyThe CranberriesEverybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?Alternative & Punk
6. Hollow YearsDream TheaterLive At Budokan [Disc 1]Metal
7. El Bozo, Part IIChick CoreaMy Spanish HeartJazz
8. Fuego Cubano (Cuban Fire)Stan KentonCuban Fire!Jazz
9. On The Silent Wings Of FreedomYesTormatoRock
10. Trial Of TearsDream TheaterFalling Into InfinityMetal

Edward Moore & Associates

Oh No! A log lost relative as apparently croaked…

From: edwardmoore@sunumail.sn
Reply-To: edwardmoore004@yahoo.co.uk

.sn (Senegal) or .uk (United Kingdom)? Make up your mind!

Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:33:21 -0000 (GMT)
Subject: From: Edward Moore & Associates

Dear Friend,

My friends don’t send me spam.

My name is Edward Moore QC.Principal partner Edward Moore & Associates London UK and I was compelled by my late client’s request to contact you on a matter of great financial reward.My client late Hassan zahrul (Malaysian by Birth) ,an Industrialist and Real Estate Guru died recently leaving a vast wealth in your name as his “Next of Kin”.

One would think someone in London would understand that it is customary to put some white space after periods and commas. And the chances of me having a Malaysian relative are essentially nil. Notice how Mr. “Moore” never mentions my name.

Do contact me immediately via my Direct Telephone:+44-7045705184 or better still send me an email to my direct email address as below stated for immediate action on this matter.

Do drop dead immediately via the most painful method available to you.

Email:edwardmoore002@yahoo.co.uk

I expect your immediate response and call and also let me have your direct telephone and mobile lines so i can call you as well.This matter demands urgent action and i urge you to make this possible.

You may expect my immediate response, but I wouldn’t hold your breath if I were you.

Awaiting your response.

Edward Moore Q.C
Principal Partner
Edward Moore & Associates
Direct Telephone:+44-7045705184

Isn’t it funny how an email claiming to be from a businessman in London actually originated somewhere in Africa?

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Sufferness?

Another scam claiming a prior business relationship…

From: “Mr.Yves Adams” <yvesadams1@yahoo.com>
Reply-To: yvesadams@yahoo.fr
Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2007 05:58:31 -0700
Subject: From Mr Yves Adams Finally Succeeded

Dearest.Friend,

Not so fast, buddy.

I wish to inform you that i finally succeeded in transfering the Funds which intiated you before through the Over Invoice contract awarded by Federal Government with my new partner from Bahamas Eng.Carlos Gomez.

Huh?

Right now am in Kwuait investing my own share of the total Funds.

Kwuait? WTF?

Neverthless,i didn’t forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it could not work out.

Yeah, right.

I want you to contact my secretary,

And I want you to drop dead.

his name is Desmond Aku and his email address is( des_aku@yahoo.fr ) ask him to send you the total US$920,000.00 in a Certified Bank Draft which i kept for your earlier assistance . I really appreciated your efforts at that time very much.

Kindly get in touched with my secretary Desmond Aku and instruct him where send the Bank Draft to you.

I’m sure he will.

Do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time. in the moment, i am very busy here because = of the investment projects which I and my new partner are having at hand. Finally i want to inform you that you will required to take charge of your mailing of Draft expenses.

I thought so… And sufferness, WTF?

I wish you best of luck,as you contact Mr Desmond Aku.

Best Regards
Mr.Yves Adams

Mr. Adams says he’s in Kuwait (or is it Kwuait?), but this email is from a computer in the U.S.A.

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