Oh no, Not Again

First, there was the infamous Sauron: Offer and acceptance. Now there’s the equally brilliant Elf Love:

In the mostly-alternate-universe of Harry Potter, supposedly giving an enslaved house-elf clothing frees the elf. However, the rules for what constitutes “giving” a house-elf clothing are not at all clear. A brief attempt at elucidation over lunch failed, as we lacked a physical copy of the record. A few points of interest follow:

The giving of clothing appears to be strict liability. We don’t care about either the intent of the giver to free an elf (accidentally “passing a sock” frees) or the intent of the elf to be freed (Hermione can leave socks hidden under rubble in order to trick house elves into freedom). So it seems that there’s no intent requirement for the gift of clothing. Leaving aside the question of who does the laundry, what kind of delivery suffices? Clearly, handing a sock to an elf would free it, even if it was handed absent-mindedly. Dobby was freed when his master tossed a sock in the air and Dobby caught it, so the master doesn’t even have to intend to hand the sock to the elf.

…

I dunno, I think most of us are better off with with minds full of mush 🙂

_The Passion of the Christ_

Here’s some alternatives…

Last Temptation of Christ

I don’t care what everyone else says – casting Harvey Keitel as Judas was brilliant.
Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Brian: You are all individuals!
The Crowd: We are all individuals!
Man in crowd: I’m not.

Jesus Christ Superstar

Judas is the voice of reason? What’s not to like?

Dogma

Metatron: I am to charge you with a holy crusade.
Bethany: For the record, I work in an abortion clinic.
Metatron: Noah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished. And no one’s even asking you to build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey, and visit a small church on a very important day.
Bethany: New Jersey? That doesn’t sound like much of a crusade.

Little Buddha

Enlightenment, WHOA!

Christian Porn Addicts

Billboards Target Christian Porn Addicts:

“Her gift for Valentines? Stop looking at porn,” proclaim billboards put up by NetAccountability, a nonprofit software company that aims to help Christians confront the “secret sin” of pornography.

If national surveys are any indication, it is a personal battle waged by millions of Christians.

Almost 18 percent of people who called themselves born-again Christians admitted visiting Internet porn sites, according to a 2000 survey of 1,031 adults by the evangelical group Focus on the Family. In a 2002 Pastors.com survey, more than 50 percent of responding pastors reported viewing pornography in the previous year.

How could anyone pass up the chance to use “Christian Porn Addicts” for an entry title (especially on Valentines Day)?

Do people actually fall for this?

Here’s an actual email sent to my Yahoo email account:

Date: Sat, 07 Feb 2004 15:01:31 -0500
From: “YAH0O!”
To: “Foistboinder”
Subject: Your_ _Yahoo`_ user ID (foistboinder@yahoo.com)

   Dear* Y@HOO Cleints,

   _This_ Emai| !nform Y0U that _your_ Yahoo account` (foistboinder@yahoo.com)
will be BL0CKED after` 13 _days_ (@S @FTER autoomateed reegisttration) _if_ you will_
not _signup_ 0N YAHO0 WHITE l1st (_to_ sign up – cl1ck here: http://Foistboinder.yahoo.com/)

Th!s is done – beecause _we_ update now` YAHOO! not` autoomateed reegistered accounts.

ATgofLM4O  

If only all scammers were this incompetent.

Big Surprise: Can-Spam can’t stop Spam

Can-Spam Act Can’t Can Spam:

A month after the federal Can-Spam Act went into effect, most anti-spam vendors say that the new legislation hasn’t cut down on the glut of junk mail in users’ in-boxes.

According to numbers released this week by Brightmail, Postini, and Commtouch, three providers of message-filtering and anti-spam solutions, the amount of spam they’ve intercepted since the law took effect on Jan. 1 has increased, went unchanged, or fallen by an insignificant amount.

OK, not really a surprise…